JULIE, JEAN-FRANCOIS AND THE EMPTY HOME

Home

There is in this world millions of children without parents
there is also in this world millions of parents without children

Julie and Jean François are a family without kids. In other words, their home is empty. The place that they keep warm in their heart for a little one is growing, and yet Julie’s belly is not. Here is their story; a story for grown ups, a story without kids…

Just Friends

Twenty years ago, Julie moved from the Lac-Saint-Jean to Quebec city. She was 16 years-old, has a cute accent from the Lac, when she settled her bags in the room she rented near Limoilou cegep. Julie-from-the-Lake was glowing with ambition and knew that a bright future was ahead. What she did not know was that it was waiting for her one floor above hers. His name was Jief-de-Fontainebleau. He too was studying at Limoilou Cegep, walking around with his blond curly hair, gazing through his clear blue eyes. The oldest of 5 siblings, he left the Eastern Township on a quest for the big city, and his Julie-from-the-lake

They insisted repeatedly that they were just friends. However, during his trips back home to Fontainebleau, Jean-François could not stop talking about a mesmerizing Julie. As time went by, the more he insisted with glowing eyes and blushing face that “she was just a friend”. The first time that Julie-just-a-friend showed up at Fontainebleau, everybody knew very well that she was not going to stay a friend for long. Indeed, her status quickly changed from “just a friend” to “girlfriend”.

Julie and Jean-François

Years went by and they both moved in together. They learned to live as a couple, survived the hardships of being in a relationship, (“he’s grouchy”, “she’s whiny”), and made themselves a nest. They made (and still do) one of a kind couple. The problems they met brought them closer as they walked hand in hand, determined with a solid bond.

Nearly twenty years later, they still seem to be a new couple, sweet, affectionate and always getting lost in each others’ eyes. They are beautiful, admirable, and make others believe in true love.

The empty house

About ten years later, they are finally ready to fill their home with kids. Julie is ready for motherhood. Once scared, she is now ready and stands decided. Jean-François never even questioned whether he wanted to be a father or not. He has been ready for fatherhood for a long time. Even as a teenager, he is convince that some days his house will be filled with kids laughter. Having a child is not only a dream, it is a deep desire coming from the bottom of his heart. He is obviously born a father. Children love him and know him as the nice man with the sweet voice. His paternal instinct is very strong. Julie and Jean-François will be exceptional parents. They have a very similar vision of parenthood and a realistic perspective on education. They are calm, patient, loving and kind for the children in their family and friend circle. They are a wonderful, solid and steady couple that plan the birth of many children in their future.

They have come a long way, and wish to raise a family that to this day is not showing up. Numerous doubts, questioning and worries grow as time goes by. The multitude of medical tests are barely starting. Julie goes through painful surgery to heal, temporarily, her endometriosis. They both know that it is only a matter of months before the tissues invade her fallopian tubes again and make conception virtually impossible. However, they remain optimistic with the support of their families as they wait for the upcoming Big News.

The waiting period is long… months passed by… her belly remain flat. The Big News never comes.

When results show that Julie’s endometriosis has come back, Julie and Jean-François chose to remain hopeful and turn to the in vitro fertilization. Again, Julie is submitted to numerous tests and painful treatments. Injections, blood tests, hormones, implants… She stoically endures, 4 times, months of treatment, with the help of Jief’s strong support and care.

Three Angels

The first attempt was a failure. The implanted embryos did not stick. The sadness and disappointment is indescribable, but they remain hopeful and ready to try again. Luckily, it finally works, three times more than they ever expected! Three embryos are in Julie’s loving belly. They are strong, healthy and big… too big. After six months of pregnancy, the fetuses run out of space, and things start looking dark again. Julie gives birth to three healthy boys, but they are too young to survive. Felix, Emile and Antoine are born, baptized and die in the arms of their father who sang lullabies and coveted them until the very end.

The entire family is grieving over the long-awaited babies’ sudden departure. If there is a heaven, those three little angels remain there, serene, as they were loved not only by their parents, but also by two families who wanted nothing but to love them and have them to be a part of the family.

Julie and Jean- François are impressive during this terrible event. With their sturdy love they go through the horrible ordeal hand in hand. After a while, they turn to in vitro fertilization once again, in vain. Two years after their triplets’ passing away, the couple, stronger than ever, try for a fourth time, again to no avail. They are now 36, indebted by the mind-blowing cost of the medical procedures and Julie’s pregnancies. They can no longer pursue their dream. Adopting, their last hope for a child, is now out of the question because it is too expensive. Their dream is shattered. It is over.

The End

Jean-François is my big brother and Julie my sister-in-law. During the past few years, witnessing the hardships that life put on their path, I often ask myself if there was anything I could do to help them. It is a question that hurts, because no matter what, the answer remains the same: there is nothing I can do, nothing…absolutely nothing. There is no way out. It is the epitome of powerlessness. I love them, and their suffering hurts me. Neither they nor the family can do anything about the situation. We cannot fight against her endometriosis, against fertility treatments, miscarriages, the death of three healthy babies. Is it injustice? Fatality? A stupid destiny against which we are defenseless? An aberration of nature that makes people parents without them wanting to, while others, who only dream to be parents, in a healthy, stable and loving environment, cannot?

The story of Julie, Jean-François and their empty home could end here. Life is life, and there is nothing we can do. Nature has decided that they would not have children, medicine can do nothing to help them, that is all. It is the end.

The Denial

No. It is not the end. Despite all evidence, I refuse to abide by it. I refuse to think that there will be no solution. There is only one life to live, and I cannot accept that Jean-François and Julie will pursue theirs in an empty home. I refuse to accept that people like them go through so much hardship, for years, and finally have to give up. I refuse that my sister-in-law put her health at stake, that they are both indebted in order to be able to get fertility treatments, that they have invested so much into their dream and now find themselves in a house without children.

I would like the government to support couples that wish to adopt children, or help them get the fertility treatment they need. I would like to be able to fill the empty cribs of healthy and solid couples that cannot have children. I would like that irresponsible people, immature or negligent couples, to be stopped from having children. Sadly, it is not what life is like, and there is nothing I can do about it.

In this case, however, there is something I can do. I cannot change the world, but I can help those I love. I want to see a baby in my brother’s arms, I want to hear my sister-in-law console a crying baby, I want to see them both kneeling over a crib, smiling at a baby that will grow, borrow the car keys, and give them headaches.

Hope

After having thought about it, in every possible way, I found the solution that could fill up Julie and Jean-François’ home. I will invest all my energy, will involve my family as well as Julie’s on this quest, will mobilize my friends, colleagues, acquaintances, anybody who is willing to listen. I want to gather funds that will give my brother and my sister-in-law a chance to adopt a child. Through networking, we can find the money we need to adopt. From me to you, from you to your friends, from your friends to their family… we soon have touch a lot of people.

Family is sacred, my family is sacred. Everything is ephemeral in life, except for family. That is what I am trying to teach my own daughter, who is growing up in a loving, tight-knit family. What is the meaning of life? It is not about being rich or material things. It is not about working 80 hours a week, destroying the environment and suffering trying to get through the day. Life only makes sense when we see it in accordance to the love we can give to others (as mom always said!), and there is no love stronger and more unconditional than the love of the family, the parents’ love for his child. Maybe there is hope out there that a bond between two parents filled with love and an orphan will be created.

It is for all those reason, but first and foremost because I love my brother and sister-in-law, that I will find the necessary money to make them happy and fill the silence in their home with children’s laughter.

Hope…

We are November 1^st. I hope and believe strongly that we will gather 37 000$ by Christmas. With that money, Jean-François and Julie will be able to adopt two children.

(see details of adoption on the Secrétariat à l'adoption internationale du Québec site: http://www.adoption.gouv.qc.ca/site/index.php?accueil).

All donation, without exception, will be use by the future parents for the adoption. If we received more than needed, the surplus will be donate to a healthcare association or group for children. Click here to find out how you can make a donation.

Julie and Jean-François are aware of this website for few weeks. They are very touched, and once again filled with hope. They have started the procedures that are leading them to adoption.

I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your generosity.

I would also like to thank my family for their support and for believing in this project.

Thank you for making this world a better place.

Chantale Beaucher

chantalebeaucher@cooptel.qc.ca

We would like to keep you posted on the impact of your donations to Julie and Jean-François’ adventures. Simply write your name and e-mail to received updated news.